Based on Philemon 1:17-25 (New King James Version)
“If then you count me as a partner, receive him as you would me. But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account. I, Paul, am writing with my own hand. I will repay—not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self besides. Yes, brother, let me have joy from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in the Lord. Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. But, meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, for I trust that through your prayers I shall be granted to you. Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, as do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, my fellow laborers. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.”
The saying: “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are,” is an old saying with much wisdom, but the one who clarified this obvious concept was God Himself long before. In the Word, it says this: “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Amos 3:3. Finally, both the saying and what God says come to the same point: If some people maintain an intimate relationship, it is because they are in agreement, and there is an affinity between them. And depending on the matter, this can be a good thing, but also, it can be something very bad. The people with whom we relate define who we are, and free will is what allows us to understand this.
To begin, we are all free to choose both what we want to believe in and who we want to have a relationship with. Nobody does anything by force, per say. Some may claim something extreme: “But if a person has to be with another because it is necessary, such as a life-or-death situation, what should they do?” And I can answer like this: When Caesar told the Christians that they had to acknowledge him as lord, should they have acknowledged him as such to save their own lives? And the answer is: No. If they had recognized Caesar as Lord, then they would have blasphemed and renounced their faith in Christ. There is always a choice, even if we don't like the options we have. Confessing and retaining our faith in Christ is equal to the relationships we choose to maintain. We are free to choose, and although death is part of the choice, if that is the price to be paid, so be it. We are all free to choose and there are always options to do the right thing, even if the price seems very high. Finally, we must ask ourselves this when it comes to the matter of choosing things that interfere with our eternity: What price does my soul have? And this can refer both to the decisions we make confessing our faith, as well as to the relationships we decide to keep.
Now, there will be people who will say: “Does the relationship I decide to have matter so much, that it even defines my own salvation?” And the answer is, yes. This is what the Lord Himself said: “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 10:34-39. What does this mean? That finally Christ must be the One who takes first place in our lives. If we have to choose between a loved one who refuses to follow Christ and the Lord, the choice must always be for the Lord, whatever the relationship, whatever it costs us. Our first love, our priority, must always be the Lord, if we want to attain eternal life and have access to God’s eternal kingdom. We see the relationships that the Apostle Paul had and even defended, people who really converted to the Lord, who changed, and who were dedicating their lives for the service of the Lord. Epaphras, Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke were all completely dedicated to the Lord, and had even suffered imprisonment for their faith in Christ. These were the relationships that Paul had, even with this Philemon to whom he wrote, interceding for Onesimus who was once a thief and even stole from Philemon, but who had converted and left his evil ways behind to follow the Lord.
So, with whom should we be careful and distance ourselves? The Word says this: “I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges. Therefore ‘put away from yourselves the evil person.’” 1 Corinthians 5:9-13. Those of us who follow the Lord must do just as the Lord did. The Lord gave people the opportunity to know the Gospel, to know the way to salvation, to all sinners, and that is why He spoke to them, so that they could convert, but not to continue a relationship with people who did not want to believe. And this is the problem that exists today in the people of God, who continue to have relationships with people who do not want to convert, with people who know the truth, but prefer to remain mired in sin, and justify retaining those relationships because they are loved ones, be it family or friends. And that cannot be, whatever the relationship is. There is such a thing as the sin of association, and that is when a person supports another person's sin by virtue of staying loyal to them, no matter what they do wrong. This says the Word: “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.” Romans 1:28-32. If you retain a relationship with a person that refuses to repent, and that knows God's judgment, you will also be held as guilty as they are, because by maintaining that relationship, you are approving of what they do. The Word says this: “Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4. So, if a so-called believer continues to have a relationship with a person who lives in the practice of sin, knowing the truth, they also constitute themselves an enemy of God, because that person wants to continue in the world and in the world’s ways knowingly. So, can an enemy of God inherit or enter the kingdom of God? No. It is not impossible. Your relationships ultimately determine who you are and what you truly believe. So, the question is simple, “who are you?” Lord bless! John